Practically 4 many years after some pimple-faced, D&D-playing pothead that I went to highschool with grabbed me by my Metallica shirt and screamed, “Dude, have you ever heard fucking GWAR?” we’re nonetheless speaking about them. Heavy steel, because the style was so eloquently referred to again earlier than the post-Pantera crowd decreased the time period to easily steel, hadn’t seen something just like the “Scumdogs of the Universe” (title of the band’s 1990 launch on Steel Blade Information) since, nicely, not fucking ever. Not even when KISS was getting all gussied up within the Seventies, spitting fireplace, blood, and singing tunes within the Key of Sexual Innuendo, was there something this wicked for smelly kids barely wading within the first circle of puberty to sink their braces into earlier than jacking off into a unclean sock. However GWAR, fuck off! It was for the freaks, weirdos, the heads, the sarcastic bastards, those that’d beat the breaks off any jock within the locker room who dared spurt such blasphemy like “headbangers suck.” Growth, Pow, Whop, Smack, Kapow! Die, you preppy scum!
We all the time imagined GWAR was a wild-eyed pack of social lepers, burnouts, identical to us, whose biggest ambition in life was to maybe get a GED and a manufacturing facility job if their shitty band didn’t pan out. Additionally like us. And so they certainly wouldn’t final lengthy. There was no means that one thing so blatantly rotten and wicked can be allowed longevity in America. The PMRC would have them killed! So, we clearly purchased in, and “Scumdogs” shortly grew to become the soundtrack of our degeneration. We didn’t care in the event that they have been only a bunch of losers from Richmond, Virginia, or barbarians from outer house banished to reside out the remainder of their pathetic existence on the planet Earth for fingering somebody within the improper gap. Both means, GWAR horrified authority, and that dominated!
When my editor advised me I’d be speaking with the band’s new lead vocalist, The Berserker Blothar, to debate their new album The New Dark Ages, their European and U.S. excursions, and their newly launched Shudder documentary “That is GWAR,” I could have nodded in settlement, however I knew rattling nicely that I’d by no means conduct such a lame, cliche interview with a Scumdog. That’s what Loudwire is for. No, for this outdated metalhead, who gladly jumped into the white van of the heavy style at an early age from the wood-paneled Sears stereo console holding his mom’s Conway Twitty and Alabama information, this gang of arthouse misfits and beer-bellied intellectuals, who’d achieved legendary standing by sodomizing punk rock with beefy guitars, tacky lyrics, and cum-stained theatrics deserved a bit of style of their very own medication. It wouldn’t be correct to spend time with Blothar asking about music (though I’m guessing he needs I’d have). Now, practically 4 many years after being launched to GWAR, they may need me useless.
HIGH TIMES: Wait, you’re not Taylor Swift. What’s occurring right here?
The Berserker Blothar: Sure, there’s apparently been some confusion.
HT: Yeah, a bit of bit. Effectively, I suppose you’ll do.
BB: (Laughs)
HT: So, I used to be doing some research earlier than the interview and observed that GWAR now has a whiskey, beer, CBD, Delta-8. I believe I even noticed a GWAR crack pipe being bought someplace. What’s GWAR’s actual drug of selection?
BB: We now have a crack pipe? I’ve by no means seen a GWAR crack pipe.
HT: I believe it was black market.
BB: That is smart. We actually ought to have GWAR bongs. GWAR’s drug of selection has all the time been crack cocaine on stage, proper? As a result of we need to set an excellent instance. However then, backstage, we’re all smoking weed.
HT: Is that simply to return down from the crack or simply peer stress?
BB: It’s an extended custom and group of artists and musicians that make… you realize, we’ve plenty of sculptors within the band. And they’d sculpt one thing—normally a bong—and say, “Hey, look, I sculpted a bong, do you’ve got any weed?” After which we might say, “Sure, we’ve some weed… or no, screw you and your bong sculpture.”
HT: Effectively, you appreciated marijuana sufficient to launch your “Bud of the Gods” hashish line. Actually, I half anticipated it to be a high-THC breed laced with angel mud and dried spooge. Why did GWAR decide to supply a non-intoxicating method, freed from THC, blood and human jizz?
BB: Effectively, you realize, we’re making an attempt to make our means into the trade one step at a time. However a number of the CBD merchandise—the gummies really—when you eat these, I do know that for a truth they’ll get you excessive. As a result of I used to be presupposed to go meet my mother-in-law for the primary time. And beforehand, I used to be like, “Effectively, CBD will calm me down. Let me simply take a few of this.” And so I chewed a gummy and the subsequent factor I do know I’m pulling over. I can’t drive. I can’t drive anyway. However I positively bought very confused from the CBD gummies.”
HT: Yeah, I get that. I went to take a vitamin as soon as and by chance took an Adderall as a substitute.
BB: Oh, you don’t need to do this. You don’t need to use your CBD as lube by chance both.
HT: No, I imply, you then want Viagra, proper?
BB: Yeah! However, Bud of Gods, it’s an awesome product. It’ll actually take the sting off. However I don’t actually know that a lot about CBD. I do know individuals say that there’s all types of issues: balms you may placed on; umm, petroleum jelly.
HT: You understand, they make hashish suppositories now which are, in fact, designed to be jammed up your ass or in your girl’s snatch. Any likelihood that we’ll get to push a bit of GWARijuana up our asses within the close to future?
BB: That’s a extremely good thought…a GWAR suppository. It actually is smart. I imply, we do have a GWAR intercourse toy that’s popping out, so, I imply, we shall be going into some butts.
HT: Will or not it’s prickly and painful?
BB: Yeah, it’s a mannequin of the Cuttlefish of Cthulhu. So yeah, it’s bought… It doesn’t look snug, let’s simply say that.
HT: Good! Feels like one thing we’d like.
BB: Sure, and I’m unsure what sort of marriage it could help.
HT: In all probability a Pentecostal one.
BB: Yeah, it’s extra like a wedding destroyer (Laughs).
HT: Okay, so, some politicians declare that marijuana is a gateway drug, that it’s going to ultimately get individuals hooked and having them sucking off truckers for spare change. Has GWAR ever blown a trucker for weed cash?
BB: Effectively, sucking off truckers for spare change feels like an excellent time… on a Monday evening… in Richmond, Virginia. Yeah, proper off the freeway 95 exit. I’m not saying, meet me there at exit 152. I’m simply saying I may be there between 9 and eleven tonight. I imply, you realize, I believe it’s not a gateway to something extra severe than lacking work… loads. However, you realize, like the rest, you must do it carefully. And that’s why I can’t do it in any respect. I’ve an issue with moderation. I’m not a moderator. The reality of the matter is we’ve all been smoking weed since we have been 14 years outdated, listening to Judas Priest within the attic of our mum or dad’s storage, so you realize, GWAR has a long-time reference to the weedage. Plus, you realize, we used to tour with the Butthole Surfers. Discuss having good weed, boy, these guys had some great things. It’s true that weed is totally different now, proper? Again then, we simply had an enormous, two-pound bag of shake.
HT: Proper, that stuff that provides you a headache.
BB: Yeah, now they’ve bought that wax stuff—shatter. It truly is like doing crack, you realize. There’s so many steps concerned. Too many steps!
HT: Proper! Who wants all these steps to get excessive. I can’t sustain.
BB: No.
HT: Okay, so that you talked about GWAR’s marital help. Don’t you assume that weed is the heavy steel help?
BB: Weed, it actually takes the sting off and in the end, surprisingly, that’s what steel is doing. It’s offering a launch for individuals from the mundanity of their on a regular basis lives. So, we’re proud to be concerned with any vice that we may be concerned with. You understand, individuals are all upset now as a result of we make NFTs. BOO-HOO!
HT: I noticed that you just simply launched them.
BB: Yeah, we put out NFTs and everybody’s like, “Rawr! Boo, NFTS!” Who cares?
HT: Nobody’s ever blissful.
BB: No, except they smoke a shit ton of weed!
HT: Yeah! Which brings me to my subsequent query. We’re going to get political. So, Richard Nixon launched the drug struggle and Nancy Regan took it up a notch by demanding that children to Say No to Medication. If GWAR was employed to do a public service announcement about dope, what’s the message?
BB: I believe in the end, GWAR needs individuals to be inebriated. We’re pushers. We’re pushers from means again. The one’s that McGruff warned you about!
HT: I’ve to think about that GWAR has snorted all types of shit over the many years. What’s the very best?
BB: I imply, we’ve snorted every part from crushed up laxatives—these are good. We bought so bored with spending cash on medication that what we might do is definitely simply smoke the cash. It simply saved time. I don’t assume we ever snorted cash, however we positively smoked some.
HT: Effectively, they are saying there’s traces of cocaine on all U.S. forex.
BB: (Laughs) That’s attention-grabbing. No, we’ve snorted nearly every part. You understand, battery acid. The scrapings off the publish of the battery of our vehicles. Crushed up crimson peppers. We’ll snort something.
HT: Now that the Supreme Courtroom says ladies can’t have abortions, I suppose you received’t be snorting child fetuses.
BB: No, and that sucks! You understand, that’s going to dry up. We positively loved like a bag of Funyuns and a few child fetus.
HT: I hear that’s probably the greatest highs.
BB: Getting excessive off unborn child, jeez, that’s an excellent feeling.
HT: Hey, we’re doing the lord’s work right here.
BB: (Laughs) Look, we’ve been down that highway earlier than with medication and we’ve snorted plenty of cocaine. One among my favourite moments was once we acquired an award from the ACLU, and I’d simply been doing cocaine for hours on the tour bus and kissing with some lady who was neurotically reapplying lipstick. So, I simply come out with lipstick smeared throughout my face, cocaine dripping out of my nostril and take an enormous, big test for the lacking youngsters’s basis.
HT: Lovely. I believe.
BB: These have been the nice outdated days.
HT: Yeah, man, the place are they now? The place are the nice outdated days?
BB: I do know! The place are the quaaludes, man? Quaaludes are nice! You understand, you may really feel like Elvis on a regular basis. That’s what he felt like proper when his guts poured out into the bathroom, proper from his butthole.
HT: Poor bastard.
BB: Pricilla, get me some rest room paper!
HT: Talking of bathrooms. Stoners get hungry. What does GWAR eat to fulfill the munchies?
BB: Effectively, I imply, on the tour bus you’ll discover plenty of Pop-Tarts. We positively eat these, particularly the fudge. And regardless of the availability of infants, GWAR has all the time been enthusiastic baby-eaters. Simply pop the pinnacle off one and drain it. Yeah, that’s primarily it. Chicks. Lot of Funyuns. I discussed these. GWAR is absolutely massive on these.
HT: Do I see an endorsement sooner or later?
BB: That may be nice, wouldn’t it? GWAR-branded Funyuns that completely style horrible.
HT: They need to include a complimentary GWARijuana suppository.
BB: (Laughs) Yeah, that’s proper. A bitter and cream and onion suppository.
HT: Okay, let’s get severe. The hashish scene is filled with wanna-be hippies and Rastafarians. All of them put on tie dyed shirts, stink of patchouli and preach peace and love and all that horse shit. For those who established another motion referred to as GWARstafarins, what fundamental ideas would its followers want to stick to, to belong?
BB: To begin with, I can’t consider they’re calling individuals who simply smoke weed and seem like hippies Rastafarians. Jeez, what do the actual Rastafarians assume? I’m certain that they’re not thrilled about that. I imply, GWARstafarians can be. To begin with, they wouldn’t actually have lengthy hair as a result of they wouldn’t have heads. They’d simply be a bleeding stump. They’d be holding their head simply smoking some weed, I suppose. That’s step one. We now have a fraught relationship with hippies. You understand, we’ve killed the corpse of… he was already useless, however then we re-killed Jerry Garcia. In fact, there’s the well-known GWAR track “How Do You Cover Cash From A Hippy? Put it below the cleaning soap.” So, I believe a GWARstafarian motion would positively be a bunch of headless individuals carrying round their very own heads which are smoking joints they usually’d be praying to GWAR, providing up all their cash and worldly possessions.
HT: They be a society of self-contained bongs and penniless fucks.
BB: Yeah, that’s proper.
HT: President Joe Biden mentioned he was all for marijuana reform, however he hasn’t achieved jack shit for the motion like he mentioned throughout his marketing campaign. If GWAR was given 5 minutes alone with the Commander in Queef, what would you do to alter his thoughts… earlier than chopping his head off, in fact?
BB: I’d present him what it feels prefer to be touched whenever you don’t need to be touched. That’s for certain. You understand, I believe that it’s fantastic that weed has grow to be commonplace because it has. Everyone’s smoking it on a regular basis. Persons are smoking it at work. Persons are smoking it at church. Children are smoking it within the classroom. Infants are smoking it. I believe that’s nice. I’m very happy with the progress that has been made. As a result of it was just some pathetic outdated hippies who have been a part of NORML simply strolling round saying, “Look, in the future weed’s going to be authorized.” And we’d all the time go, “HA! You’re so silly.” However look, look what occurred. The federal government came upon they may make some cash off of it. This all the time occurred to me each time I’d go over to Europe and discuss to these sanctimonious Europeans who’ve adverse issues to say about American international coverage and shit. It’s like, you realize what? You’re excessive! You’re actually excessive! And meaning you’re not within the streets, so I believe the federal government has a maintain on you too. Hopefully that solutions the query with out answering the query. As a result of I don’t like answering questions.
HT: Effectively, sorry. However that poses one other query. What tastes higher, infants or infants after they smoke weed?
BB: Undoubtedly, you desire a smoked child. A weed smoked child. Yeah, that will be good!
HT: You’ve bought to convey again the GWAR BQ and serve smoked child. THC infused smoked child.
BB: Yeah! You understand, and I’d inform Biden: Look, man, simply make weed… make all of it authorized. Every part. Every part needs to be authorized. Particularly, abortion. Abortion ought to really be obligatory. And so they actually need to boost the age restrict to love 23. Not months, however years! How are you going to know if the child’s a shithead earlier than they’re eighteen.
HT: Dad and mom want a trial foundation.
BB: Yeah.
HT: That’s the true late time period abortion, proper?
BB: That’s proper. Very late time period.
HT: I’m nonetheless ready for my mother and father to do it to me and I’m 49.
BB: (Laughs) You by no means know.
HT: You’re touring Europe and the U.S. by way of the start of November. How does GWAR maintain regulation enforcement from harassing them for weed in areas of prohibition the place officers are satisfied that getting excessive will result in the decline of civilization?
BB: It positively has occurred. Again when GWAR traveled in a college bus, we might drive up on the New Jersey turnpike and there was this one explicit toll sales space that we might undergo. They might have the younger troopers on the market simply coaching them on GWAR. They’d pull us over and we knew the cop by title, and he would come on and invariably discover weed and he’d throw it away. However we additionally used to get stopped loads by cops who needed to undergo all of the props and take footage with them. It was nice. It was all the time an excellent time. “You boys bought some type of touring present? I see you bought some marijuana.” We’ve had run-ins with the cops. Whenever you’re within the tour bus although, they assume you’ve bought cash, so they stunning a lot provide you with a move. They need to trouble the individuals using round like a bunch of hippies in a college bus. However you’d be shocked what you will get by way of with. I imply, you may simply cruise into Canada with useless our bodies on the bus and no person cares. Talking of Rastafarians. I’ve a good friend who toured with Eek-A-Mouse. That’s what he mentioned they did. Simply put a bunch of weed within the tools truck. They by no means even paid consideration.
HT: So, there you’ve got children. All you must do to smuggle weed is put it on a tour bus.
BB: That’s proper, sure!
HT: Besides when you’re Willie Nelson or Snoop Dogg.
BB: (Laughs) Effectively, yeah.